These past few days I found two articles that relate with what I’ve been doing lately… Create more, consume less and Maintaining your individuality in a relationship.
To feel good with myself I need to create in my own space. Though I’m not in a romantic relationship right now, sharing the house with my mother, my son, my cats and my dogs gives the idea of personal space not a huge chance.
Actually it took six months since we moved in here to realize how we wanted to use the areas and the space. Sometimes you have to live before you are sure how you want to live.
So I finally took on for myself the two small rooms in the upper floor where I can have a space for all my things and my work. To have two separate rooms is good to keep away the cats when I don’t want them to damage [sit on, eat, scratch, puke on] something specific I’m working on . In one room I have my bed, clothes, some books and basically is the area to rest/sleep and the main area for my cats. The other room is where I have my books, paintings, music and where I basically read, write, paint, play music, etc. If I have all my things in one place which I can call mine, I can focus and concentrate better and also use the shared areas feeling stress-free.
I’ve been asking myself about the reasons WHY I wanted to create and maintain this blog in the first place. I thought about privacy, who would read it [maybe someone who particulary dislikes me]? Many people choose to keep away from social media in general because of these kind of issues, and I guess it’s basically to avoid criticism on different levels. And there is the other side of the coin… the possibilities of self-expression and the chance to connect with people who may share your interests and points of view, from whom you also can learn many things along the way.
So after thinking about the pros and cons of the whole picture, here I am. Of course I try to find balance between exposing my private life and sharing things [just because balance is healthy]. Criticism is something unavoidable anyway as I just can’t control what other people think, say or do, I just can control what I think, say or do. The advantages of the new ways of communication are endless, specially for artists and musicians.
Last night I was reading more about the project Amanda Palmer created on Kickstarter, it’s amazing what she’s done. I remember that I first listened to her music in 2003 with The Dresden Dolls. I basically discovered her through the internet when someone shared a video on a forum I used to visit back then. Now I follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc. She’s maybe the person who takes the best advantage of current resources of communication, being independent, being herself, being amazing and humble at the same time. Is just the greatest inspiration… watch for yourself her TED talk about “The art of asking” [a huge mind opener].
The day didn’t started quite as well as Sundays should be. After having an argument with my mother I felt really annoyed, irritated and erratic. But a bit later, after having some coffee, I had a really good feeling, something I just felt once or maybe twice since 2004. I had the NEED to draw and paint, and I did, with dry pastels. I draw some words and gave them color, shades, backgrounds. I felt really relieved. I love that feeling, is what I think art always should be, something that needs to get out to make YOU feel better, that’s when it can be completely honest. And then the words of Fiona Apple came to my mind… “I won’t write a song unless it serves ME in some way”.